Chronicles of Nana

Well…some big political moves going on…have you ever wanted to go behind the scenes of the private political arena and see what really is being discussed and decided..? I would imagine those back door corridors have been filled with lively talk, negotiations and compromise. Wheeling and dealing amongst the party kingpins would have made a more interesting TV drama than the predictable coverage from the liberal media….

THE DEMOCRATS…

We have “Billary” politics plowing through the democratic strong hold with the usual “I was president, hear me roar” babble…Obama selling out to the Kennedy dynasty gathering all the endorsements he can to enlarge his virgin resume and Edwards bowing out to whatever compromise he accepted to make the democrats have a sure-win ticket. Would I dare suggest a Clinton/Obama ticket….first lady….first man of color team 2008…? Would the democrats be so bold to construct a sure thing..? Hummmm….

THE REPUBLICANS….

The republicans seem to be scattering to manipulate a ticket that can rival the democratic dynamic duo. The media seems to acknowledge that McCain is the man to lead the charge. McCain is questionable at best…he doesn’t have the desire to go for the jugular as Hillary nor does he have the charisma of an Obama. For the convervative republicans McCain is somewhat of a traitor, although a genuine war hero, for his stance on certain key issues that have labeled him a liberal/ moderate. His governmental experience tends to put him with the old Washington crowd types. Isn’t he pushing 70..?

Now that Guiliani has bowed out of the race..would you have liked to hear the conversations between the McCain and Guiliani camps..? Would you suppose a McCain/ Guiliani tickets may be in the offering…? What compromises were had with Crist and his gang in Florida. Oh… to be a fly on the wall!

You know folks…we are speaking of the primaries here. What are we to suspect when the candidates have been decided and the big race is on for real..?

Like I said before…where is 2009? Oh hummm….politics as usual.

Ever feel manipulated…?

After several state  primaries does it seem to others that Americans are having a hard time deciding who is to be our nation’s leaders…..? I think so. I am with the South Carolina lady who boldly stood up to say..” this is not old South Carolina. We do not judge by color or gender..we seek a leader!”

A PUBLIC  SERVANT AMONGST US?

The news media covers the various political campaigns with the usual biased renderings of editorial comment rather than just the facts…so what else is news..? Regardless, with all the monies spent, all the lively debates, all the shouts of “look to me”, the fact remains no one has taken the lead and no one has talked the issues. Could this be telling us something?

On the democratic side there is Obama and Clinton…neither one is tried or true as an experienced leader. Both unproven while under fire with strong, compelling issues. The years spent as the wife of the former president just does not buy it for me. Hillary’s job as a New York senator is no more proven than Obama’s…I wince at old time politics and the dirt, mud and crap that is spit out the mouths of all those vieing for the prize. Edwards is somehow lost in their dust! And…what about the Kennedy Dynasty endorsement for Obama..? Another power machine of ole time politics taking hold to spread the power..? I would have admired Obama more if he took his grass roots swell of support and ran with it alone…a free agent with no ties and strings attached! The Kennedys and Clintons are birds of a feather….

On the republican side the chosen ones must be able to give the democrats a run for their money….and money has become the campaign issue, hasn’t it? With the current administration being crucified for incompentence…the chosen republican duo have to become the dynamic team to break the democratic power surge. There is Romney, business astute and big money; McCain, war hero and wantabe lib-con; and Guiliani, Eastern 9/11 mayor and New York  City based bodyguard. On the issues side it seems the concerns for the war and the local economies take the top spots. Thing is, the general public appears to want the issues answered..are we hearing those answers?

THE NEW REALITY…

I suppose I am having a hard time distinguishing the “new” reality…on all sides I hear a voice for change. Although I have not always approved of the current administration’s decisions, I have been more disturbed by the senate and congress not getting the real needs of the nation solved. We send these elected officials to Washington to speak for their electorate. I am wondering how they spend their time…with my money..and what good it has done of late.

 VOTERS QUESTION…

I see struggling voters desparately trying to make sense  of the out-of-hand political agendas of all the candidates wondering where the hell they stand on the issues weighing heavy on their minds. I am not too sure personalities are going to run this election…voters want concise answers to the issues concerning the war, immigration, economy, education,  healthcare and on and on.

Frankly it has come to “show me the answers time” and until these issues are brought forth for serious consideration the voters at large will still be seeking “their man” up to election’s finish.

When will the candidates get it? When will the media really report it and not control it?

When..?

Bereavement seems to last far longer after the event…people left to finally accept reality and trying desparately to find a new normal…

COPING…?

Life seems to happen fast nowadays…you bury the past and jump into the present bent on a different future. How does one cope with that…? For me, there is little change. I have two more family members living within the household and that means a little more laundry, a bit more food on the dinner table and 2 added dogs, a cat and hampster. Knock on my door and you will be greeted with alot of noice…

CHANGES….

My craft room has been converted into a ‘girlfriend” arrangement for my daughter and her child. They have a small place to call their own. My craft supplies have melted into the maze of boxes now sitting in the basement and garage.We now have the dubious honor of having 3 separate families living under one roof. Thank goodness there is enough space for all of us to seek a measure of privacy now and then…we all can find a private corner somewhere.

There has not been alot of current change..except the turning of 2 lives completely upside down. Normal, at least right now, is to go to work or school, come home to play or relax, eat about the island in the kitchen and discuss the day and plan for tomorrow and then to bed to seek the peace of sleep. Boring perhaps, but right now a welcomed normalcy.

There are so many loose ends…and from what we have heard settling the affairs of someone who has passed away can take months. In the mean time, we are expected to get back to life…kind of an oxymoron don’t you think..?

As much as my adult daughters want the loose ends tied up…life at times just does not work that way. So we are left to push forward and then take a few steps back. Perhaps this is the process…by the time spent settling things one is finally ready to move on.

CLOSE TO NORMAL…

My grandaughter’s life is as close to normal as it can get. She has been acustomed to coming and staying at Nan’s house. She is back to school and has contact with her mommy through out the day. I know her mom is contemplating their future together…foremost on her mind is finding employment that can easily interface with her child’s schedule. After all. she has become the only parent in this little one’s life…

We already have a divorced single parent in our household who has been there, done that…perhaps having her experiences will help give some guidance and strength to this difficult situation. Grandad and I seem to recognize our roles and, of course, plan to be in working partnership with all. We are grateful that the local extended family has come together and will be available for added help and strength.

GRATITUDE…

Of late, I have become most grateful for my faith…believing in a kind, Heavenly Father and following His Son, our Savior, has given me strength and direction. I appreciate what I know…I appreciate what I believe…I appreciate the friendships of friends and well wishes from strangers…

The earth is home to alot of really good people…

A death in the family brings out the very best in people….we have had so many kind acts of giving from so many wonderful, caring family and friends. It is totally hard to express the tender feelings of the heart.. after all, it has been rubbed raw with grief and pain. But the sincere acts of kindness from generous, caring folks bring hope….

KIND ACTS….

We are most grateful for the local policemen who sheltered and cared for our five year old grandaughter… we are humbled by the outreaching efforts of meals delivered to us by our church…the anonimous donations of funds to help defray funeral expenses…those who watched our home in our absence…the ladies who prepared the funeral luncheons…neighbors who took down Christmas decorations and picked up the mail at my daughter’s home…and Southwest Airlines. My son-in-law worked for Southwest and like a family, they rallied around our daughter and her child like a watchful angel. They saw family arrive from Pennsylvania…sent beautiful flowers…a large group of employees attended the funeral and offered continued support to us…they sent us to Pennsylvania to attend the memorial. Such generosity brings tremendous gratitude…

FAMILY ARE FOREVER…

Family at times like this come forth… I have several grandchildren who have given of themselves in ways that melt my tender heart. Moms, Dads and kids shoveling the walkways of snow and there was alot of it, served meals, cleaned house, transported people and doing just everything that was barked out at them. There were so many tears, hugs and breaking hearts..family from the east traveled to be with us..a lost son came forth so I could hear his voice once again. Hearts begin to knit and healing begins…

NEVER ALONE….

I cannot begin to address the kindesses of others. How freely they shared their concerns and money. I tear up even now knowing that there are those who will rally about you in time of need. Through this whole difficult experience we have never felt alone….and it is an event meant to be lonely. I suppose we all accept death in a singular way…it is a quiet, silent experience that we shy away from because it’s best not to think about.

But…it happens everyday to all people…we share this experience with everyone. In death we find a common bond…peoples everywhere can and do relate..

There is hope that we share in death such a common bond with all those that walk this earth.. perhaps we should come together with the living aspects in life and make living a celebration of oneness as well….

To all those who care….you have my heart!!

Well….the dust is settling but the atmosphere is still one of disbelief. We have just returned from the east for a memorial for my daughter’s husband in Pennsylvania. It was a hard, short, trying trip…

PICKING UP THE PIECES….

We now face picking up the pieces…closing up the house until spring, going through personal items, changing mail delivery and hassling and changing accounts. The world seems to stand still when one must bury a loved one but once that is completed one must hit the road running with the hurry and wait in finalizing the life that once was…it is not an easy task and if you have not experienced it before it becomes a telling and a startling, learning experience.

HURRY UP AND WAIT….

First, one learns that you cannot rush government or the coroner’s office…Second, the bills keep piling up. In the meantime the emotions kick in and run the gambet of sorrow, anger and paralysis.

I am mom to the widow and I find myself thinking..”he’s just going to walk through that door any minute.” I read my daughter’s blog and see her anquish, bewilderment and pain. Yet, I must be the stoic one. In many ways, she and her brave little five year old have become my heroes. They have exhibited such inner strength that I have stood in awe…

I do know that as one gets older the tears freely flow…the control is totally gone. No one wishes such pain and trials for their children and yet these tragic events happen every day to really good people. Life is unfair…

LIFE DOES GO ON…

I have a cousin who has had to withstand the loss of four family members in her family these last 2 years. She has literally jumped from one event to the other. Estate settlements still unresolved, personal effects not gone through, and the mind consumed with the decisions of the living. She has been a rock..she has inferred to it as being her lot in life! She is my hero also…

Currently I am sitting in my home with 2 feet of snow outside….it is bitter cold and when one walks outside it takes the breathe away. Wind stings the face… just as death stings and bruises the heart…

We are waiting for spring and the sweet smell of season’s change…

And life goes on….it’s just not the same.

The fog has not yet cleared…the tears are less frequent…the stunned, motionless grip has faded away but the heart is heavy and life does go on….

TIME STANDS STILL….

For the past several days time has stood still. I am weary, emotionally spent, and exhausted. I have followed the usual steps that accompany such a life changing event. Now…I watch my youngest adult child struggle in disbelief. Why is it that the pieces from a death are so hard to pick up..?

I suppose none of us ponder the reality of losing a loved one. And reality hits one in the face as soon as the funeral is completed. The death certificates…the financial accounts…the funeral expenses…where is home now…?

HURTING….

I ache for my daughter…she has her family about her to be of assistance however, there is no one who can ease the inner pain that come from the realization that life for her and her five year old daughter will never again be the same. One can become mighty lonely even amongst the crowd.

So many decisions….so many doubts…so many regrets…so many nights with empty arms. How can one explain these things..?

LIFE PASSAGES…

I have a little grandaughter who must look to her future without her daddy. Her daddy was a loving man…she will realize soon enough how she greatly misses him. You just don’t break that connection with death….I know.

One does not think that death will come to one so young…36 shouldn’t be an age to comtemplate such things. I have noted how young people are being called home more often these days….perhaps I am just more sensitive to it.

My doctor told me not too long ago that once you reach 30 you are dying….if that is true, then I have lived 2 lifetimes. I feel like it. I would gladly give the time I have left to prolong the lives of the young who have had but a minute to experience life’s journey. I have to hold on to the belief of a kind, gentle Heavenly Father….I have to hold onto the fact that an extended journey is beyond this life…I need to dig deep to find the solace in that…

In the meantime…I walk behind 2 brave girls at the ready to be of assistance and a strength to them.

May Heavenly Father guide us all…

Nana

IN LOVING MEMORY OF A LIFE CUT TOO SHORT…

Our grief is over whelming at the loss of a dear.sweet son-in-law

Gone home to Mom…

January  4, 2008

After seeing the movie Charlie Wilson’s War” I looked at the recent Iowa Caucus with opened eyes be they be somewhat blurred by pessimistic cataracts!!  So…Iowa is over with and it can now go back to it’s middle American values and ideals…to be normal among the deversity of population that soon anticipates the big caucus adventure themselves.

IT’S HISTORY….

What can one summize from this point in political history..? Well… Fox news can converge upon middle America in mass and with it’s capped teeth handsome commentators and beautifully endowed female reporters take over a city and make 15 minute stars out of average, everyday people. The streets now lay empty of big time news organizations, the hotels are picking up the mess of fast food wrappers, and the every day Joe can walk through the door of the local coffee shop and find a seat, sip his cup of joe and banter about the hellaballou that just left his town…

DISCOVER THE CANDIDATES…

What this parade of “formidable” candidates taught me was that I NEED to get real and educate myself about these people who feel they are the angel to deliver the United States out of the stagnant, malaise it finds itself in. So, I googled every front running candidate to find out more. I have a stack of tiny printed pages for every hopeful in line for the prized job of president. I will sit in my easy chair and examine their past, current record and printed personalities. I will watch closely the ensuing races, and try painstakingly to analyse through the spin and media hype…

POLITICS AS USUAL..?

What appears certain is that Iowa is ready for change from the Washington DC as usual…and I will venture to say that will be the battle cry of all the remaining candidates of all parties in 2008!! The one certainty is that people are sick and tired of the mainstream political system and want honesty, disclosure and issues to come to the forefront and be forthrightly discussed and analized so that a structured determination can lead to remedies that can help cure the ills and pain suffered within the country…

THE LONG WAIT… 

It is going to be a long political season. 2008 will be consumed with politics until the deed is done…Judging from history, anything can happen …and it will. I am always amazed at how we take our voting privileges for granted. I am dismayed that so many people choose not to vote or get involved. America was not based upon complacency, when people do not consider involvement as a right and who ride an election out is the time for them to realize they get what they deserve…

The world is watching and coming to our shores to delute the ferver that once existed with the founders of this nation. We are a country based upon freedoms and it is hard to believe there are people who wish us harm and death…

Believe it….stand up and be counted or live and die with the consequences!

Spent part of the New Year viewing the movie “Charlie Wilson’s War” starring Tom Hanks. It is Hollywood’s true account of a Congressman from Texas in the 1980’s who was instrumental in wheeling and dealing for arms supplies for the Aphgans during the seige with Russia and combating their high tech weaponry…

POLITICALLY CORRECT..?

I found the film vulgar but informative and most enlightening. I was under the impression, naieve as it may be, that there is a measure of order and civility in Washington DC but perhaps we should leave that thought with the White House tea parties! Now I am old enough to have gone around the block a couple of times, but politics have remained a disgusting part of life that I continue to dislike.. and with good reason. This film does not sugar coat reality…

NATIONAL IMAGE…

I have heard of the “Dirty American” image but to witness it on the big screen was almost too much for me. I like to think that our nation’s noble intentions should shine forth and dim the means by which something is achieved. Real life can become almost too up front and personal…if you know what I mean.

This movie has alot of profanity, some nudity and alot of sexual content. Wilson, although possessed with some redeeming National leanings, is a hard drinking political womanizer. He has learned the fine art of wheeling and dealing and knows how to appropriate funds and direct them…you see the wheels turning…

AS THE WORLD TURNS…

In a day with Congress spinning its wheels and going nowhere…I came away from this film with a bad taste in my mouth.I can see how  newly elected congress people must get eaten up and spit out by the veteran players of the game. And a game it is!

I found I got abit offended by the protrayals but then again…politics is a dirty business based upon image, media exposure and Hollywood tricks with reality.

Dirty Jobs for __________ people!

You fill in the blank……

As much as I like to down play New Years..I am not exactly the family party girl, It seems this year’s end comes with explosive events. I was hoping it might be a quiet, unassuming holiday filled with last minute trips to the store for favorite snacks and a warm fuzzy movie shown at home….

2007…

Many of us may follow that pattern for bringing in the New Year but alas, 2007 will end with tragedy and sorrow. The world has lost a courageous leader who as an outspoken woman  wanted desparately to bring democracy to her country. Benazir Bhutto died at the hand of an assassin amid the chaos in Pakistan.

A WOMAN’S DESTINY…

I do not wish to debate politics or democracy with this blog today. What I do want to bring to light is that  a woman, a wife and mother…who happened to be a political activist fell and died for the convictions she believe in. She stood up in the face of great harm for a cause so meaningful to her and to her followers that she risked it all.

I admire her determination and true grit…she will be listed as one of my heros simply because she stood up and was willing to be counted for beliefs she was willing to fight for and defend. Too many people hide in the shadows…unable to stand for anything nowadays!

2008..WHERE WILL IT LEAD..?

2007 ends with continued turmoil in the world… it suffers from the greed and oppressions of others. Elements of society will do whatever it takes to eliminate the freedoms of others. Hate and thirst for power rule their every thought. How sad that a New Year must start with such heartache and comotion.

May the free world prevail…may world leaders continue to carry the olive branch and may women unite through out the world to honor the good name of the heros for freedom..

Hoping for peace amid the insanity….