Chronicles of Nana

Welcome to the Pennsylvania primary and all it pretends to be…my mind reels at the obscene amounts of monies being spent to determine the democratic candidate. In my mind’s eye I keep seeing what this cash could do for our stressed elderly who play Russian roulette with their medications and food supplies. I see the neglected and hungry children living in waste ridden squallor as their parent(s) give in to the highs of drugs. I see people brought to their knees because ill health has taken away their security and any hope of maintaining a dignified way of life. I see every day Americans struggling to fill their cars with gas and having to decide on meager meals in order to make ends meet…and those ends are rarely met these days.

THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL…

If anything the Clinton/Obama primary races have proven to me is that there are many willing to spend the mega bucks to become the political nominee, let alone the elected political forerunner of this party. Obama has outspent Clinton 3 to 1, dumping millions into a state he knows he could not carry….why?

SHARING THE WEALTH…

Had he donated just a tenth of what he spent to a worthy, needy cause….then, perhaps my respect would be elevated. I don’t know much about Obama but I would like to find out his thoughts and feelings concerning the major issues of the day. He has been like a pied piper spewing his classic oratory to the masses….and they seem to be blindly following in his footsteps without trying to find out about the man. I have watched him closely and have been disturbed by his associations and comments that at times seem flip and condescending….when something seems too good to be true ..etc….

SOLVING THE PROBLEMS…

Sure, everyone wants change..republican, democrat and independent. Government is not solving the major issues of the day.It is caught in the quagmire of “too big to eat.” It doesn’t take a genius to figure there is too much government that has become unaccountable to the voting electorate for expenditures and decisions and agencies that vie to spend-spend-spend. Congress and the senate are spinning the wheels of progress and getting no where.

POWER…

I am offended by the vulgar display of power that can be bought for money. Those of us who seek money to maintain a way of life is one thing but those who use it to regulate laws for monetary benefit that does not serve the common good are misusing the power that  money seems to buy…

I want to know how Obama amassed his money warchest…I have a good suspicion how Clinton obtains hers. Both of these candidates have organizers who control the purse strings..who are these decision makers? What is the stories behind the big time contributors and what is their expected payback? Obama seems to have come upon the political scene singing a song of change and reform…America seems more than ready for that…the media spin is weaving a fairytale. Public pandering is running amuck!

A POLITICIAN IS A POLITICIAN…

But as a skeptical ole’ broad I am still left with the feeling that”it take one to know one!” It ’s one thing to put faith in the man/woman but my vote is not bought with superficiality and personality. Being instrumental in electing the leader of the free world is high on my scale of responsibility. Therefore, I had better do my homework and due-diligence..

This year I plan to use alot of hope and prayers as well…

After returning from a fantasy flight to Disneyland I am left with the awesome part of reality that seems to slap you in the face at the most inopportune times. I am taken to realize that we just spent several hours celebrating at the Mouse House with all his furry friends. Just walking through the main gates cost 100 dollars and as I gazed at each participate they all gladly paid the price and walked about with large smiles on their faces. Such is the magic of the Magic Kingdom. Reality can suck so much that we spend the cost and energy to be lulled away in  a place that comes with thrill rides, sawdust tasting snacks and long lines of frantic visitors wanting to get their money’s worth…..

SUCCEEDING….

This magic place must succeed in satisfying the escape desires of most the people who go there. For over 50 years it has enchanted the children and pacified their parents. But, what about the realities of life that await us back home upon our return.? I not only had a mound of dirty laundry but the same ole’ housework to do! Problems left at home still exist and the real ways of the world seem to rest heavier on the shoulders. Perhaps it is my age..it’s just hard to get my groove back!

SCHEDULES…

Never schedule a dentist appointment a day after returning from Disneyland…..Mine turned into a gastly root canal that descovered every nerve in my body!! I have been suffering in disbelief now for 3 days..and I am sick of eating soup! My son and family took the long way home so they could take the kids to see their grandparents. After a full week of travel and disjointed schedules they have crawled home dog tired. My caboose daughter and her daughter accompanied me on our Disney adventure and she came home to a house full of garage sale items that need to be sorted, cleaned and priced.

STARTING OVER….

This recent widow has been dreading this part of starting a new life. She is left with picking up all the pieces after losing her dear husband. Their sweet little home has become just a house filled with sweet memories that she just can not bare to face one more time. She can’t cling to the past so she is getting rid of most that once was….a daunting task for one so young.We have helped her go through her things and it has been hard on all of us. One walks through years of memories, even when just going through old bills….

THIS TO, SHALL PASS…

It is springtime….I know it will one day come. The daffadils are trying hard to push up the hard ground and make their faces known. The crispy freezer burnt grass is trying to find it’s new green. The trees have budded and the birds are flying about confused with the existing weather. One day it will be 60 and getting warmer, the next it will be 35 and threathening snow…

POSITIVE THOUGHTS…

We look for a personal up swing for the rest of 2008. We have already had 2 funerals so we challenge the remainder of the year to be more up lifting. Our caboose daughter has traded her 2 family cars in for a sporty Mini Cooper which she says she likes too much. She has had that car now 2 weeks and hasn’t used a half a tank of gas yet!! Our grandson graduates from high school in a matter of weeks and he will be headed to college in a new car as well. ( it’s a Mini Cooper also!)

The family ( which includes 3 separate families now)  is looking forward to spending a week in Hawaii this summer. Some how I feel we all will definitely be ready for the adventure of seeing new things and old friends. We look forward to the marriage of a grandaughter as well.If we don’t attempt to plan for some fun times..life has a way of taking those moments away with the realities of just living day to day…we can get mired in all the gunk!

When times get rough sometimes all we have are our memories…so it’s time to make those memories happen now!!!

My time finally came to watch the faces of several grandchildren as they experienced the Magic Kingdom for the first time. I would not have missed this for the world…so I nearly crawled my way in order to be with them at this momentous occasion. Yes. I was hobbling on one leg but with the use of a cane and a rented scooter I once again came out of the park with more energy than all the rest…wise ole Nana that I am!

AT THE AIRPORT…

First. may I mention the polite consideration of the airline and airport personel. They take utmost care to make the disabled comfortable…I have heard horror stories and have personally seen the elderly and impaired treated less than satisfactory. But  my experience this time was excellent and acommodating. I appreciate the respect and treatment given by these special and sensitive people. I realize this is not always the experience for some but it is nice there are those who seem to be well suited to the job and who extend themselves in such a gracious manner. I am sure no one delights in “feeling up” and all lady in security or having to put on her sneakers because she can not bend to tie her shoes!!

DOWNSIDE…

I found the coordination for wheelchairs for arriving flight passengers to be awkward and prolonged. A process that needs improvement. The Baltimore airline crew had to wait on plane with me for a wheelchair to arrive. I hope they expressed themselves behind the scenes after this lengthy pause in ground operations. We did pre-request that wheelchair assistance be available at our arriving destinations. Apparently some procedures are not flawless!  Security seems to have tighten up…has become more thorough but fast. The lady who had to pat me down asked me what was that lump  and I replied it was a lump that belongs to me! When one gets my age everything heads south with lumps about the gut and thighs!! Why is that?…

SCOOT ABOUT…

The scooter was awaiting at the hotel..it was my constant companion for 48 hours. I appreciated every minute of it…it was my E ticket to fun. We were there to meet the grandkids as they came into the park. They were so cool on the outside but every once in a while I would see delight jump out in giggles and screams. Disneyland has a way of opening up a whole new world for children. There is a spirit of controlled freedom that lifts the spirit to a new level. I saw my 15 year old reserved but cool grandaughter smile frequently which she should do more often because it brings out her beauty.  I watched a 7 year old grab the magic and “go for it.” She was fearless as she conquered every new adventurous ride. My eleven year old could hardly contain her excitement as she delighted in the whole experience. And the super calm one remained calm under pleasant pressure! My grandson liked teasing his Mom and taking the littlest ones to the rides in Fantasyland. The five year olds held hands and challenged each other to be brave….and they were!

PEOPLE ARE FUNNY….

I did alot of people watching … it was literally a scream to watch my family at the Haunted Mansion all huddled about Dad as he and there Aunt let out the most blood curdling screams. My grandkids were wrapped around Mom and Dad tighter than duct tape! There was a mass of humanity there that day…watching families interact and having fun was enjoyable. After all the Magic Kingdom is the happiest place on earth!

WHO THINKS ON VACATION..??

People get so caught up in the magic that they do not think….for one they stop in their tracks right in front of a moving scooter. As I scooted about it was apparent that most people thought I was invisible. I nearly ran over a thousand people that day! It would not have been a pretty sight….but I am getting very good at the scooter thing and boy did I see alot of them scooting about the park. Soon there will be more scooters than strollers!!

WHO WANTS TO LEAVE..???

We had to make our goodbyes at noon the next day…it was sad to have to go knowing we all had to go our separate ways. My grandchildren would soon be off to see Nonni and Pops for a few days before heading home….

We arrived back home in the evening welcomed by a new batch of snow…spring is having a hard time springing!

We are now back to reality and it sucks big time…. I have just returned from the dentist and a lengthy root canal. All my teeth ache. To complicate the situation the goop impressions they took lifted out another crown so I have more work to be done.

Geez…what a welcome to the real world..I”d rather be dancing with Mic and friends!!

Last Night I watched American Idol gives back…be aware this is the first season I have fully been involved with this talent/reality show that interacts with the viewing public. I question the validity of the voting system of such a program but, none the less, it has captured the attention of a world wide audience…

A CAPTIVE AUDIENCE….

My daughters have involved themselves (and my 5 year old grandaughter) into the weekly performances since this show hit the airwaves. It was not until I heard their cackling, laughter and loud critical comments that my interest peeked and I gave into to it’s audience appeal…so, this season I have joined them and just being able to interact with my children has made this an A+ experience for me.

Yet again, There is another houshold down the mountain where my son, wife and seven children make it a family affair to watch this program as a family gathering event. I have the smallest grand children who will lend their opinion concerning the performances…”Oh..she is toast!” or “He’s dead meat now!” I applaud most things that bring family together!!

GIVING BACK….

So last night was my first time to experience the ‘Give Back” program for American Idol. Although I enjoy the charitable aspects of the show and the sincere desire to help alleviate the hardships of the poor worldwide, I am abit pessimistic as to how the money raised at these events really get dispursed to those in need. Bottom line is that with all televised telethons one  does question the percentage of what is raised actually going the most in need. There are those who must administer these funds and there is undoubtedly “middleman” agencies or persons involved that must be compensated. I”d like to see how these funds are dispursed…sorry I have a critical eye…

That being said…I will concede that the momentum of concern and willingness of the viewing public and sponsors to open their wallets is still a good thing. I was glad to see segments concerning the poverty within our own states and the exposure of the lack of opportunity for the children who are so in need here in America. We  always witness the terrible conditions of children world wide and it is right that we offer our help to them all. But, to allow hunger and poverty to remain here in our own country is not a shining example of “caring for our own.” There is more that needs to be done….

Frankly, I champion the religious tradition of tithing. I appreciate churches and organizations who make giving back a daily occurance. When disasters happen these people and their funds and supplies are always there with hands on help. I believe there needs to be more personal involvement than just writing a check. I admire those who go to the site of tragedy and lend a helping hand and can get down and dirty to serve.

SERVICE FROM THE HEART….

And that is my point…service. All people everywhere can make it a personal duty to do something good for someone everyday. To make this a private commitment would make sleeping at night more peaceful and satisfying. There are those who dedicate their lives to serving others but if we, busy as we are, would just extend the effort of kindness once a day perhaps the true meaning of happiness would bring a peaceful heart…

Now, back to American Idol…who is getting shot down tonight..?

Like fine wine..I am aging and never before have I felt more the distance between the generations than I do now.!! Finally making it to senior citizenhood has allowed me to explore the wonderful world of social security..frankly, I don’t feel very secure… Medicare is now available but I just do not seem to want to go there. I have heard too many horror stories!!

THE GENERATION GAP….

However, I did not expect the generation between myself and my children to so dramatically hit me as it has this last year. For one, I have accumulated a few aches and pains. Damned if the knees just don’t hold up the body like they should!! And the eyes begin to get fuzzy and make reading the newspaper a major chore…so, with the prodding from my family I did the corrective eye repair. I had a traumatic reaction to the surgery and am now trying to maintain my balance because my other eye needs corrective measures too.

NO PLACE TO GO….

It has been a year since that surgery and I have yet to be behind the wheel of a car. Now logic tells me that 15 months ago my eyesight must have been pretty bad. With corrective repair it is reasonable to assume that I can see much better….I can!!However, my children have voiced concern about my ability to drive a car and won’t let it go. I mean I was blind before and now I am just half blind..sooo what’s the big deal????

Consequently I have spent the last year confined to the house…and I am just about to the breaking point. I love my house, I appreciate my computer perch and I adore the beautiful mountain views. But give me some air and wide open spaces, I want to fly again!!

I realize I have some limitations but give me a break kids!! I can certainly take myself to the grocery store!….alone!!

COMPLAINING KNEES….

I have had knee. hip and leg troubles for years…I have learned to live with it and manage the pain. Granted I walk like Chester in Gunsmoke (remember that?) or maybe it’s Walter Brennen..no matter. I have found that a cane helps me maintain balance and lessens the intensity of pain when I use it. I have heard all the positive stories about knee replacement and I have also heard my doctor say that a severe case of arthritis can hurt just as bad. I am thinking in all examined scenarios it’s still going to hurt or at least be a big pain in my @@!!** …..

I have decided that confinement is meant for those who go to jail or need intervenious feedings…and I am not  there yet.  Give your old Ma a break…act your age if you must  but let me act mine pleeeeeese….

Geez…gag me with a spoon!

We’ve had a few funerals lately but my grave ain’t dug yet…..

This weekend has been a time when time has stood still for me. I feel as if I have been placed in suspended animation just dangling for the other foot to drop!….

PASSAGES…..

My husband loaded up his van with relatives to head to Southern California to attend the funeral of one of his Uncles who passed away last Sunday. I could not go because I am hobbling along on one leg because the other one is complaining big time. Even with the help of a cane, it does not make traveling something I want to do. Seems like the family only gets together nowadays  at funerals…

SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER….

My daughters spent Saturday night at a Rick Springfield concert….yeah, he is still around and driving females crazy!! Once again my daughters got a great “up close and personal “shot at an idol they have had since they were teenagers watching the soap opera “General Hospital.” It was one of those “let your hair down” events that will give them plenty of laughs in the future. Some things never change….

SAME OLE….

As for me, I stayed home and watched my grandaughter. We “played” all over my room. Five year olds tend to flit from one thing to another…what can I say, she is a multi-tasker…! I was doing laundry all weekend and the dog threw up twice. By the time Sunday bedtime came around I was more than ready for Monday. And what did Monday morning bring?…three inches of snow!! I guess it was just one of those weekends!!

CARS AND CARS…

We have been playing “ring around the automobiles” lately. My daughter has sold her late husband’s  Land Rover and is in negotiations on the purchase of a new car for herself. My grandson will be getting his graduation present early so he can go to the prom in a new car! Both these two have purchased mini Coopers… in the meantime I anticipate the return of my old ‘91 Honda, coming home to me after many years in the hands of children and grandchildren. As most good cars, our Hondas seem to stay in the family and handed about to needy relatives. These cars are worth more to us than as “trade ins”.

So, here I am in senior citizen limbo…bum leg, old car and the forever thankless dirty clothes…

Where is the justice in that?…

At least I can eat now …my tooth crown is back in place…once again!

So life goes on……….

It has been three months since the passing of our sweet son-in-law and life is still no where normal yet…whatever that may be these uncertain days! We have sort of let winter pass as we have tried to help our daughter find a new niche for herself…but how can one do that..? Loosing your significant other is like being asked to carry on with only half of yourself. Becoming resilient, independent and self focused is an awesome task when everything one has known is a shared life with someone special…

AS SEASONS CHANGE…

The snow has disappeared, the trees are budding and the daffadils are pushing up the soil. The grass has the look of freezer burn and we have hope it will bounce back for summertime watering. My daughter’s little cottage has remained vacant and there has been several attempts to organize, sort clothing, and clean. Little by little it has been emptied. All that remains  are items and furniture that will be placed in  several garage sales or given to charity…it is interesting how one just does not want to hang onto things of the past…not even your own wardrobe.

WORK..WORK…

Plans are being made to employ a handy man to fix the odds and ends that need to be repaired or looked after before the house is placed on the market. Part of me hates to do this. It is such a delightful little home  that holds all that was memorable for my daughter. I am deeply torn over this decision…thankfully it is not mine to make.

ACCEPTANCE…

Why does it take so long to accept the reality that “is.?” I suppose an unexpected death needs more time in order to fretter out the circumstances and move on. But this experience has been bitterly hard for me personally…to  see the loneliness  and dispair in my daughter’s eyes and I feel her anger and bewilderment. Change is so difficult….

THE ROCK…..

Thankfully the steady and accepting one has been our five year old grandaughter. She keeps her Mom focused and centered. I have seen her smile and childlike comments lift us all in times of sorrow. We so greatly under estimate the abilities and understanding that little children possess. They are wise beyond their years. And oft times, like this, they become the leader that is filled with discovery and hope. She, of course, has been our primary focus and she has handled this situation well…I see more clearly now the moments she looks so much like her Daddy. My heart aches for his companionship….as does Mom and daughter.

A BIG CHANGE…

The housing market is in the dumper…it has become  more of a buyer’s market. The good thing is that its purchase price will be in the medium range and will be more readily sellable. We can only hope someone will come along and see it’s  potential and recognize it was cared for with great love. Perhaps, another young family will find joy there….

It is true that life is what happens beyond the planning…I know we all must face such pain and trials. I guess the one certain thing in life is change and death. I hope this experience will give us strength and more compassion for others. I am forever greatful for my many blessings…especially my husband, children, grandchildren and great grandkids..They are my anchor and my compass.

They tend to center my emotions and allow me to focus on the joys they bring to my life… it has been enhanced by their presence and spirit!

May Heavenly Father bless them all!!