Chronicles of Nana

After a dashing trip to the southland I found myself stumbling down the stairway at Tuacaun holding on for dear life…I haven’t been to a concert for years but this was my 6 year old grandaughter’s first experience and I was not about to miss it!

ROCKIN RICK…

Rick Springfield ( remember him?) has been a girl heart throb for my two grown daughters ever since he showed up as Noah Drake on General Hospital. So, they have done the girl thing and attended his concerts whenever he was close to home.

My grandaughter’s Mom, when a teeny bopper plastered her room with his pictures. She paintakenly cut his photo from magazines and covered the back of her room’s door. When we moved the door came with us!!….So it is no wonder that she has introduced her 6 year old to Rick via his musical CDs. She pretty much knows the songs by heart.

DAUGHTER WATCHING…

I had more fun watching them, watching HIM! She was wearing her bling outfit specially bought for this occasion and the moment he entered the stage my grandaughter was on her feet jumping all around. For her, it was the experience…bright lights, loud acoustic music and a crazy dude who ran all over the place. She was innocense in action…

REALITY BITES..

On the other hand, as I watched the aging groupies trying hard to act 18 again I was saddened by their superficiality. Ten years from now these ladies will have nothing more to live for. What a waste…Along side of them were the hopeful male leeches who were so obviously hopeful…another waste.

NICE VENUE…

The venue is beautiful…nestled in the red rock bed of Snow Canyon. It was small and for the most part the crowd was old loyal fans. Rick hasn’t changed much through the years but then again medicare isn’t too far off in his future either…He performed as expected but I personally felt he could do much more.

I saw him not so long ago on Huckabee..just him and his guitar. He has a pleasant voice when just accompanied by the guitar. Years ago he wrote lullabies for his baby sons and he sang one. I would have liked to see that side of him in concert.

CROWD PLEASER…

However, he was great with the kids. He has a tradition of jumping into the audience while sing “Don’t talk to Stranger’ and have fans sing along. He climbed over the chair tops and stopped in front of my very wide eyed grandaughter. He asked her name and said he had a niece with that name. He sang part of the song and stuck the mic into her face and off she went loud and clear “DON’T TALK TO STRANGERS!!”  He hugged and panted her on the head then headed up the audience.

Well…that did it! She was transformed into an offical fan. When he made his encore with “Christina” she yelled to her Mom “That one is for you, Mom!” For me to say that her Mom needed that is an understatement…they were thrilled together!

I think everyone left well contented and satisfied. I, for one was wasted!! I trudged up those terrible stairs huffy and puffy with my knees ready to buckle anytime.

Would I do it again..yep!! I’ll not likely give up a girls night out in the near future!

But, the knees haven’t shut up since…

Sunday we had the honor of attending a missionary farewell for our first grandaughter who will take the gospel story to those who seek it in Tampa, Florida. I found my emotions go soft and mushy as she gave her talk in Church…this once little girl who hide behind her mother’s skirt for so long…

PASSAGES…

Where has the time gone …. The young take on the world with such zeal and risk. Some blowing caution to the wind and letting themselves be taken where that wind settles. It is refreshing to hear a young person speak with such humility and hope for the future…she has a direction.

She is ready to be of service to the Savior and her contacts in the mission field. We sat there in tears…she looked so much like the child of six we grew to love so dearly. Her other grandparents traveled from California which made this day particularly wonderful.

ENJOYING FAMILY…

For a week her parents and siblings and grandparents will enjoy the company of each other…sweet moments that will be remembered for a very long time. Nonny (grandma) told me that it was at this time of year when 20 plus years ago they were sending their other daughter off to her mission. At the same time when this new missionary was being born… the circle of life continues….as does some traditions.

This sweet missionary is the eldest of 7 and I watched these children as their big sister gave her talk. I wondered what impressions they were having and what plans lie before for them. I watched Mom and Dad as tears of humility and perhaps some apprehension streamed down their faces. I watched Nonny and Pops and thought of all the hours, some good some not so good, that they spent in helping raise her. It was a sunrise- sunset moment encircled in time with family and love.

EMOTIONS…

The tears do flow, even now. Of course, we wish her well and hope there are seeking people who will welcome her gospel message. Florida isn’t like across the world after all. That’s not the point…

The point is that this young lady will come home different…the same outward appearance, the same engaging smile. But, her experiences in the mission field will give her a new dimension and perspective to life…and beyond.

I know she will come home well prepared to master the life ahead for her. Her desire for family will be there but she will look differently at herself and it will show and prove to us she is capable of becoming and doing whatever she wants to be.

Parents and grandparents perhaps know this best…when the passages of life open up a bright and unknown future…where a child becomes a woman accomplished and ready to meet the world.

We hope her special testimony touches many…

Via con Dios!!

I am not one to take risks…my comfort zone lies in sure things. Having said that, life has sometimes put me into situations where I have had to face risks head on. I pretty much shy away, when possible, from those circumstances because I am a semi-wooz…

I DON’T WANT TO…

I don’t like to confront, don’t like the feel of it and would rather retreat into a closet somewhere and wait it out. However, fate sometimes brings together all the circumstances where there is no way out. There I am face to face with all my fears and my vivid imagination…

AVOIDANCE…

I so avoid such situations that only circumstances with my kids or grandchildren can bring me out of that closet of fear. Those times I have had to face were not comfortable, were too confrontational and way too emotional for me to survive. I would have made a lousy lawyer…

Motherhood oft times has put me smack in the middle of all sorts of uncompromising events. Arguments between siblings, monitoring an awful spill on great grandma’s couch, breaking up a fight or standing your ground with an irate stubborn child.

Nanahood has usually softened the blow of not having to take sides or dole out discipline. By in large Nana’s can take a spectator’s chair and watch as these refereed actvities are handled by the parents…good thing to, as high blood pressure has already set in!

RISKING REJECTION…?

I am not a risk taker…you may have gathered that! So, recently I have had to take a major jump into a situation that likely would not turn out well. I went into it with my eyes wide open, knowing full well that the odds were against me. That rejection was likely the outcome.

So here I am dangling in the unknown wind. I am trying to prepare myself for major disappointment on one hand and eagerly hopeful on the other. I feel to be caught in space with a standstill of time…dreaming up all sorts of scenarios to bring the anxiety to an end. I hate the feeling. My body doesn’t like it either. Why can’t life be more predictable..?

You know the old saying…”damned if you do, damned it you don’t”…?

Well, I’m there!!

Tax day has come and gone for another year. April 15th is like a bole on the butt, needing to be attacked as quickly as possible, then laid aside until it raises it’s ugly head in a years time. It’s like a toothache..hurts like hell when blazing hot and best forgotten when the pain subsides…..

REFUNDS ANYONE..?

Grandad and I have never been ones for refunds. Although it sounds delightful, we have not had the privilege of knowing the experience. We have enjoyed having to pay the government but this year it has been hard to stomach. It has become all too apparent that taxes are on the rise. Perhaps some lucky one will not necessarily see it in their tax returns but they none the less will feel it…be it at the checkstands, gas pumps or within their property taxes…

TAXING THE TAX ON THE TAX…

There will be many areas, perhaps some we will never know, where the government will place a tax.  They have opened the doors to freely exercise their right to put their hand into your pockets. The way has been opened up for the government to control many aspects of our lives.

GOVERNMENT RUN BUSINESSES…

I am concerned about healthcare. It is easy to see that it is a system that has long been broken. Employers are finding ways not to foot the bill for escalating costs. Doctors are feeling the pinch of controled insurance inflation for the works they do. Illegals and non- insured people are flooding the emergency rooms. Hospitals are dealing with rising costs and wages…

Having said that, a government take over with healthcare does not seem to be the answer either. Insurance companies already interfere into the dispursements of medications. Having to use generics or being limited to the amount of medication is now commom place. Medicaid and medicare are not exactly shining examples of successful government programs. Insurance money managers are determining who gets operated on, who is qualified for wheelchairs and certain highly expensive medications. There are endless paper trails and one agency doesn’t talk to the other. It is scary because it is conceivable that government could determine who is to live or die.

TEACHING THE GOVERNMENT WAY…

The current government is stepping back from the school voucher system. Yet, in the District of Columbia has existed a voucher program that has worked well with low-income children. They have flourished with a private school education. One can see it in their demeaner and attitude. Still, the educational guru is closing down the opportunity. The public school systems are in trouble but having the government involved will only create further chaos. What government program has succeeded and at what cost?

STIMULATING STIMULUS…

It is like the stimulis package offering millions of jobs…wouldn’t it have been easier to just give a large chunk of cash to meet the needs of the people. Oh, we already have that…it is called welfare. Welfare is an example of bloated dreams. Hoping that it would be a hand up, we now have generations of people who know no other way to live. Why work when the government takes care of you?

There is a price to be paid for that. Freedoms start to fall away. Individual initative is melted down and self respect suffers. With that, it becomes all to commom to become a victim and entitlements become a right.

BACK TO BASICS…

There are no easy answers to hard questions. I surely don’t have the answers. But I do believe that “what you sow, you reap” and that requires hard work. We have generations of people who have loss track of that fact. I believe in the basic goodness of the American people.

Once down, most will lift themself up to new heights and fulfill potential they never thought they had or could accomplish. I have long learned that people when given a high standard to live up to usually met that challenge and then some…

I am amazed by the spirit and grit of people..and I am humbled by their basic goodness!

It certainly takes different types of people to make the world go round…I am beginning to believe the celestial powers just threw us down upon the earth, throughly disgusted, and said “have at it and make it work!”

GET IT ON…

I am thinking we are not doing well. We seem to walk the earth trying to find similarities and common boundaries but instead the human gap gets longer and deeper… It is a wonder we haven’t finish each other off decades ago…

I have often said that Grandad is from Mars and I am the budding flower refusing to die in the muck and mud. But after having my children and seeing how totally different they are from each other, I am still puzzled that we all have survived much less found love for one another. The sibling thing totally escapes me…

JUGGLING RELATIONSHIPS…

Enter into this mix a load full of grandchildren and great grandkids and it all become a scary proposition in relationships. By this time, Grandad and I have slowed down enough to watch on the side lines, shaking our heads sometimes in disbelief. There have been times we have said to each other…”These kids belong to us…?” No way…

But in every way they project their own personalities. Couple with that by adding the morals of the day and we are left completely lost within the ‘with it’ talk and behaviors that have become now normal. Grandparents are usually the last to know things nowadays much less understanding what was said or the meaning of what’s behind it…

Grandparenthood can be simply a delightful experience or a puzzling spectator sport. Much of it’s success is due to the existing parents and how they choose to incorporate Nana and Grandad into the mix.

FILLING A NEED PERHAPS..?

Some households revere the presense of their older but wiser members into the family. Other leave grandparents alone in their quiet little places to be occasionally visited. There appears to be a struggle just what to do with them.

I remember my Dad going to put water and new stairways into the old family farm to make conditions more older person friendly for his aging parents. I remember Grandad’s parents bringing Grandpa home to live with them. For years he was a part of the family and brought many pleasant memories for my husband.

I guess having grandparents always around makes it easier for the young. They have gotten used to having them there and relationships bond and flourish. For those who have not had that experience and suddenly have grandparents thrust upon them, it can be scary and uncomfortable. I can sympathize with those feelings…

Grandparents are not so much different from regular people… just older, wrinklier and supposedly wiser. They come in different sizes and shapes. They have grey hair, not so much hair or are bald as a cue ball. Sometimes their teeth can fall out of their faces. But they can tell some really good stories…

Once you get beyond that..it pretty much give and take..

Give alittle attention and love..

Get alot of joy!!

Life surely has it’s ups and downs…sometimes it gets so shakened you feel like it goes sideways and explodes into pieces. An example of the latter is funerals. Who is ever prepared for death…? So let’s don’t go there….

HOW DO YOU TEACH IT…

However, life does have an over abundance of disappointments. How do you teach that to little children..? I remember well when my children were small the disappointment they felt when Grandad had to leave on a business trip. Unfortunately he had to do this often. I know how I felt…saddened, uneasy for having to manage home alone, and what if something happened I could not handle..? But for children having a parent leave for however long brings anxiety and concern.

I had one little son who did not do well at such times. Tears would flow and nightmares were sure to follow. I felt helpless in trying to console him. And it broke my heart to see him so upset and emotional. Not having dad home was a major disappointment…

As sure as we breathe there will be disapointments in our lives. They suck!!

WEATHERING THE STORMS…

Normally we weather the storms and put disappointments behind us. Simple disappointments can be handled but occasionally we can face some that can become major stumbling blocks to our progress in life. They take root deep into our brain and heart, ready to fester up into a bole that permiates the entire body…

It is painful and that pain develops into anger and resentments. Suddenly we are burdened with excess baggage that weigh us down and inpedes forward movement. Oft times we carry this hateful baggage through out our lives, never willing to face that anger. We cling to that festering anger like it was an old friend, unwilling to throw it overboard for relief…

SAVING TENDER RELATIONSHIPS…

Usually major disappointments come with relationships…dealing with other imperfect people. We can withdraw to a space where we stand alone and stagnet or we can become outwardly angry and demonstate that frustation in behavior that is distructive and harmful to ourselves and others.

BAGGAGE OVERBOARD..!!

The very best thing I have done for myself happened many years ago. After I married and started having my children I found it necessary to literally pack my hate baggage of years of disappointments and throw that suitcase into the deep ocean…

Instantly I felt such a burden taken from my heart…I felt freedom once more, but more importantly it opened up a way for me to forgive. I can not fully express the relief I felt. Being finally able to forgive made a way for me to better understand others, especially those who meant the most to me and caused me pain.

That was the best thing I have done for myself…try it for yourself!

Every once in a while it is good to experience uplifting, encouraging and calming words from those we admire and respect. It was a weekend filled with hope…in times when we all could use some genuine reassurance our spiritual leaders came through with many reasons why we should hang in there…

APRIL CONFERENCE….

The springtime conference of the Church has come and gone but leaves lasting impressions upon our minds concerning the eternal nature of life. At times, in the past, I have felt that the ideas, principles and beliefs sometime speak to those in the past. But, this particular conference really hit home to present day and the uncertainty we all now face…

It was good that our leaders made some specific and pointed admonitions to us all to become better at being members of a world wide church, better at being good neighbors and to prepare for harder times ahead. All is not goodness and light…

We have always looked to our Church leaders for direction and they have for the most part spoke of conditions that merit our immediate attention. This time, however, their messages were directed to spiritually seek to be fed by the Savior’s words and through prayer develop a personal relationship to Him so that we can maintain an equalibium in today uncertain world.

COPING WITH CHANGE…

Our country is going through transitions in so many areas…are we redefining the American thoughts toward freedom, has the American dream been shattered, and how do we cope with change..? So many questions…so few answers…

HOLY LANDS…

We had with us on Sunday evening, two nieces, one of whom spent a college semester in Jerusalem. She, with her slide presentation, spoke lovingly of her experiences there. It was very insightful and made the Holy Land seem real. She walked many of the areas the Savior walked. I kept thinking what a gift she will bring to her children…to relate these treasured experiences to them sometime in the future. Sometimes it is hard to put oneself into the times of the Savior and to find perspective…

GOOD FOOD FOR MIND AND BODY…

We invited our local families to come and learn. We had a large crowd and sometimes the multiple conversations made my head spin. However, to have the house literally filled with loved ones for something other than a funeral was most delightful. Of course, I was in Nana heaven with so many little munckins running about…

It was a true feast for the mind and heart!!

I have come to appreciate Easter because with age comes a fuller respect for the Savior. To know that He took upon our sins and grieved makes me ashamed that I have contributed to that suffering….

HOPPING TOWARD HOPE…

 As the years have passed by, I have come to appreciate the memories I have had of the small children and the Easter bunny…but now this time of year has caused me to center my thoughts toward springtime and the life the Savior had and the example He set.

I have found sliding down that hill of experiences has taught me to reach out for help and solace through prayer. Each trials that comes my way teaches me that I cannot walk the road alone. When one is young one feels the ability to conquer anything…and after one becomes worn down by life it is apparent that the need for spiritual strength is paramount.

EASTER MEMORIES….

Years ago when the children were small we would go with Grandma and Grandpa and the kids to Golden Gate park in San Francisco. In those days it was a big beautiful parks situated somewhat close to the coast line. It would be our first picnic of the season. We packed fried chicken, potato salad, fruits and drinks. We hid the colorful  Easter eggs all about the grassy areas and the kids would flee with glee…it is a long gone memory.

SEASONS CHANGE…

We have a six year old in the household now…we arrange for her and her cousins to meet and color and gather the bright eggs together. I look about my room and it is loaded with basket grass all over the floor and empty candy wrappers and stray jelly bellies. I had gotten used to having the kids grown and gone. So this little inconvenience upon me now can be frustrating but I have been so blessed.

I am grateful to have this munchkin under foot…she keeps me young and I feel once again useful. I like watching her play. She is an only child, like I am. She can spend hours playing with her little people toys and concoct all sorts of stories. I love her imagination. I love the fact that she feel so comfortable and free to express herself so comfortably in front of me. I wish her Daddy could be here to share her growth…

In  such a time when it is custom to become tender toward the Savior I am not lost in the fact that I have been given  many blessings. Limited as I have become, I appreciate being able to stand for something and being allowed to be a grateful Nana to some very special people.

The Savior said to become like the little children…

Think about that…it’s awesome!!

The victims of divorce are always the little children…caught between the love they feel for both parents and not knowing all the ramifications that caused their young lives to change so greatly…

WHAT ABOUT GRANDPARENTS..?

Victims, likewise, are the gandparents who are left with their hearts crushed and broken. Circumstances bring mighty changes to their lives and they are left alone and forgotten left only with sweet memories of the past that become all they can hold onto… I am such a victim…

I try not to act as one, after all, I have several other grandchildren who have brightened my life and made my spirit soar. I have so enjoyed watching them grow up. I appreciate the many stages in their young lives…the successes, the sorrows and the strengths of character that continue to grow.

THEY ARE SPECIAL…

Grandchildren are so very special to grandparents…truly the reward for having their parents for children. As parents we worry, plead, direct and teach…awesome responsibilities that press heavily upon our minds that we loose contact with the treasured moments that children bring. I was such a parent…too serious, too conscienious and just too-too. I got lost in raising my children that I sometimes forgot to enjoy and appreciate them and the small things that happen…

GRANDKIDS ROCK!!!

So, Grandchildren are a do’over…only this time we are older and much better able to see the forrest for the trees. Watching and observing children now become a joy…through their eyes we see the good in just about everything. As an only child myself, I have especially enjoyed watching my grandchildren relate to each other. Now that some have grown older it is a pleasure to see them laugh and enjoy each other as unique individuals, although characters all!

MY THREE HEARTACHES…

I have three grandaughters who have always been in my heart…divorce has made anything otherwise impossible. As I have grown older I seek out those old days when I knew their innocent faces. My heart yearns for all the times I have missed; the first days of school, birthdays and holidays. I know nothing of their successes and achievements…was not there to kiss away the boo-boos…

REACHING OUT….

As each year went by my regrets became a heavy weight and my spirit would bog down with sorrow…not knowing where they reside or how I could reach out to them. However, let it be known to all that our distance apart has in no way lessened my love for them.

When one gets my age, a year can pass in a week. All these many years seem like a tragic waste of time. It has been my hope that one day before it becomes too late that I might once again have conversation with them…in many repects that is what has kept me going…

Human relationships are so fragile but so worth fighting for and hanging onto. Reach out to those you love and forgive..

Life is too short to let anything else matter…

I have stayed away from saying much concerning politics lately because truthfully I have been soaking in the actions not only of the current president but the goings on with the House and Senate. My head spins in confusion and disbelief…

PUPPETS IN THE HANDS OF….

I have on more than one occasion said the general public is being manipulated…being bambuzzled by the lies and antics and cover-ups being displayed in Washington DC. I am no longer in the naive stage and have often said that there isn’t much that can surprise me. However, current events have brought a lot of knee jerk reactions with very little to no fore-thought by our elected officials. Such a monumental mess now exists….

IT’S ALL ABOUT THE O’s……..

There are so many O’s behind our national debt that even Bill Gates might raise his eyebrows in bewilderment. Being a member of the middle class I can’t even count that high. I am no where close to understanding the financial nature of big government but even I know that spending more does not pay down the debt already on the books…

CAN YOU UNDERSTAND $$$$$…..

I have been seeking someone to explain that to me but alas no one has stepped forward with the answers. But, still we leave those in charge who will re-arrange our way of life in a way I fear we cannot now totally comprehend. When did our elected officials decide that we did not need to  know the workings of government..? Have we been that complacant..? Where and when did the break down of communication begin..? I thought our Congress people and senators owed an allegiance to the voters in their home district..? Is it just me..but no one is listening…..

SMOKE SCREENS…

I see Congress pointing fingers to the seemingly wrong business practices with corporate CEO bonuses. These bonus structures have been in place for decades and no doubt been inflated with the continuing elevation of corporate egos. Still, Congress is messing into private enterprise. Don’t they have enough to clean up in their own backyard…? Freddie and Frannie, controlled by the government, is doling out over 200K in bonuses with the taxpayer dimes.

WHAT A DIFFERENCE A FEW MONTHS MAKE…

In a matter of months the country’s security and well being has imploded…not a good sign for the outside world, nor does it do much for those of us left watching it all play before us on television…Congressional hearings galore, speeding bills through Congress that are not even read, liars who still remain in office with no reprimand, and a President who appears to use scare tactics and constant television appearances to remain the center of attention.

PROCEED WITH CAUTION…

I think we should watch the future proceedings within our government with great care and concern. We should carefully scrutinize the agenda that is being placed before us. It has been said that the American public has no interest in government and that we must be lead like a herd of cattle. We don’t know what’s good for us…dumb and dumber!

That offends me big time… it is time to moos over and show Washington who’s bossy!!