Long Forgotten Memories….
Nana on Jan 21st 2009 11:25 am
I haven’t waltzed back in time to certain memories because they have been hard to bring back without alot of heartache. I don’t know if this is the time to vocalize these treasured moments or not. At the time there was great hope that circumstances would work out differently. Divorce is a hard pill to swallow…
FALLING APART…
In retrospect, I suppose the only way to work things out was to separate the disfunctional family members so that a more stable atmosphere can develop. When divorce involves children finding a new normal can take years. Perhaps a lifetime to pick up the broken pieces so that relationships can once again flourish. One can always have hope…
THE BEGINNING OF THE END…
I have grandaughters who have no memory of their early past. It is a shame because so many people shared their love with them. I was there at their births…it was in happier times. Who knows what takes place to destroy a marriage? My take on this one has been…too young, too stupid, and too selfish. In any case it ended and for nearly 20 years the girls have been raised by their custodial parent and families.
REMEMBERING DADDY…
Though divorced, parents must get on with their lives. Grandparents must sit back and watch with silent tears. From the beginning I had the pleasure of knowing a sweet little girl who came with her Mom into the marriage to my son. Then came 2 others. These girls were the apple of their Dad’s eye… жесткий трах создать сообщение лесби уфа
I remember he would take them for car rides to quiet them down so they could be put down to sleep with ease. I remember their visits to Nana’s house with the wading pool out on the deck and laughter everywhere.
Once divorced, I remember their Dad driving hundreds of miles to pick them up and come to my house to spent 12 hours of playtime only to have to shuttle them back again before weekend’s end. It was a difficult trip each time and this was faithfully done on weekends for quite some time. I worried about them all. How normal could this ever be..?
Young children, now grown, have no recollection of the good times and sacrifices made on their behalf. That is a real shame because attitudes present themselves upon false impressions. These girl’s perceptions are the sum total of a one sided life.
I had hoped that once the negative atmosphere had stopped they would experience something that would bring love and normalcy into their life. I knew someone would come to perhaps take my place who would love them unconditionally. They so deserved that…
I tried for some time to stay in contact with them but one day was called to cease all communications. It broke my heart. They again moved and I lost track…of them and my son. Only mothers can relate to such losses…
HOW TO PICK UP THE PIECES…
Who knows how the human heart takes in account such heartaches..? It surely wasn’t the children’s fault. But their lives are the sum of where their custodial parent choose them to live it. It would have been wonderful to be part of their lives…and I have lost many years with my son.
But life is unfair…and we tend to complicate even more our struggles for lasting relationships. It would seem to me if someone, anyone, who offers their hand in friendship one ought to grab the chance to simplify life and just love the moment. When hearts can be mended…. It is never too late.
It ain’t over ’til it’s over!
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The test here, Mom, is to extend understanding and patience to all involved. We don’t know what they have been told, we don’t know what they have experienced.
It is just tremendously unfair for those on the fringe — who love — but have no power, authority or influence on the course of unfortunate events.
We can only hope that as time moves on, and all parties involved have time to consider their decisions and consequences of those decisions, that more eternal perspective blooms in their hearts and they come home to what time and circumstance has denied them. Understanding will eventually take root, forgiveness will eventually surpass bitterness, and reconcilliation WILL take place.
For now, as imperfect as it is, at least we have more knowledge now than we did before — they are beautiful, safe and loved — and together. For all that transpired and could have transpired, we can feel blessed that after all these years they at least have that and that we now have knowledge of it.
For what it is worth, for me and my family, we are uncle and aunt and cousins — to ALL involved — and we hope one day to have the chance to get to know them ALL as family.