Bittersweet Holiday Feelings…
Nana on Dec 10th 2009 10:06 pm
Thanksgiving 2009 has passed and now the rush to celebrate Christmas is close at hand. I have done much of my shopping on the internet this season so I have not been out into the “elements” to see and feel the spirit of great anticipation…
ODDS AND ENDS…
I have a few odds and ends to finish and in a way it has been a different experience this year…I have once again planned remarkably well. Alas for not, because I always end up in the same place…the faster I go the farther behind I get!!! I have cut back some…not so many decorations up, no plans for a mega cook fest, and judging from the lack of Christmas cards being sent it seems most people have cut back also.
Never mind though, the spirit of the holiday always comes forth with random acts of kindness and a sense of giving that warms the heart.
REMEMBERING…
I can’t help thinking of Christmas’s long ago when a childhood dream could come true. It is this time of year that I think of those I have not had lasting friendships with…though I surely wish I had. Three grandaughters come to mind…three people I have not seen in nearly 20 years. I have spent years hoping that one day this gross unfairness would correct itself but as life will always remind me…life ain’t fair…
GETTING A GRIP….
Now that I have come to grips with that reality and have felt the sting of resentment and rejection I feel nothing but sadness. The ways of the world can take 3 beautiful girls ( now women) and color their thoughts and prejudices in such a way that beckons worldly and unbecoming behaviors…I would have wished something so different for them.
Regardless of their ways and feelings I still hold a special place in my heart for the 3 innocent faces I have carried with me all these years. I am so grieved they have been robbed of their innocense. I wish them well. I have high hopes that they will find their way and find the joy they can bring to others.
I feel that I am at a turning point in my life…I just don’t know which road to take. I have been provided a map of happiness…
I think I will dutifully follow it!
Mery Christmas…
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